Friday, March 18, 2011

I can tell a hawk from a handsaw when the wind is northerly..

It is windy out there.
I haven't been posting much, mostly because much of what is going on is not really for public consumption. The grizzly is quickly becoming his own little person. Chatting, and pointing. He reacts emotionally to things other than hunger or discomfort. I am trying to be his father and his dad. A process that is still simple, but requires care and is exponentially gaining complexity. He looks very much like I did as a kid. Makes me wonder if this was how my dad felt when I was that age. My parents were still together then, were they fighting? What was it like for him then? This time for me is fantastic mostly.
Everything else is sort of on hold.
My training, I'm doing a 3 day full body, lower, upper split. Spending lots of time re-learning to squat while using front squats and deadlifts to get/keep my strength up. I have been back on the mats some. It's been good. Ironing out weaknesses, and teaching what I know.
My weight is good: 201 last week. It'll go up a few pounds after this weekend, but nothing tragic.
Work, I'm working and keeping up, but it's 8 a day and 40/week and that's it. Training I have paired down to a couple distance clients, and even that is coming on hold now that rowing season is getting going and Pan Ams are next week.
I'm getting used to the new car. The stick is still a challenge, but I really only kill it when I'm testing my limits to see what I can get away with.
This weekend is my birthday. 36. Average male lifespan:72
I'm halfway.. or not. one never knows for sure. Don't worry, I have enough fortitude that there's no need for a red sports car. I have too much living to do to spend time worrying about dieing.
The wife is making me a coconut cake for my birthday. My favorite. The real deal, not just some lame vanilla cake with some packaged coconut thrown on top.
I ate too much corned beef, and potatoes yesterday.
Wednesday I didn't train. I got an email from my dad. My grandmother, his mom, died. She taught me how to cook, and was one of the few people who made me feel like I was special, important. She made me feel like being family was not conditional even if her respect was. Her health has been declining for years. The last few she was confused, not herself. I feel guilty that I didn't see her(hadn't since just after we were married), but worse still because I'm kind of glad. I remember her lucid. Able to take care of herself.. and I feel more guilty for feeling that way.
I hate to engage in this sort of navel gazing, but hopefully you will indulge me this one time. It's been a very introspective week.
Mahalo.

3 comments:

Code name: 1% said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. My mom's mom had Alzheimer's and I didn't go visit her the last couple times my family did. I wanted to remember her as she was (and the last time I went she had no idea who I was, kept calling me by my aunt's name). I'm glad I didn't keep going and instead mostly remember doing crafts, playing kippee-koo, feeding the squirrels and picking strawberries. For what it's worth, I think it's fine that you didn't see your grandma at the end - she would have wanted you to have happier memories.

Code name: 1% said...

Also: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

J. B. said...

Thanks on both counts Doc. Means a lot to me.