The saga of the dishwasher..

Just before president's day weekend our dishwasher shot craps. At dinner with my in-laws, it was suggested that we take advantage of the president's day sales and procure ourselves a dishwasher. So we went to home depot, and made some inquiries as to a dishwasher. We found one we liked, and laid our money down.

They said delivery was free, which sounded alright to me, and the fact that they would take with them our existing washer sold the deal. In two weeks time, on the very day my brother was to arrive from Wisconsin, they would deliver said washer. All was right with the world.. or so it seemed.

The day before the day arrived, and the delivery folks called and said they would be there between 9 am and 1 pm the following day. There was some snow that evening, but most of it fell before the phone call verified they would be there. The wife took a personal day from work (at great expense) and waited.. 9am.. no one 10 am.. nope 11 still nothing 12 pm we're getting nervous, but still no one. 1 pm and the phone rings. It's the delivery people, they tell my wife, sorry, because of the snow (that was long gone by 6 am) they could not make her delivery, the next available date is 4 weeks hence, what day would be good for her?

The wife replies rather.. curtly. Along with questioning the parentage of the person on the phone she inquires to why, when the snow had started falling at 3 pm and mostly stopped by 5 pm did the person on the phone still confirm delivery? Also, why when most of the snow fell the day before, did they wait until 1 pm to call and tell her no one would be there. She could have gone to work had they called at a reasonable time. No one can respond. They go round and round. I get a call from the wife, she is frustrated to no end and bawling.

I call the corporate call center. I immediately ask for a supervisor. I ask her the above questions, she doesn't know. She can't help me, there is no one above her I can speak with. We go round and round, I am logical, but fairly merciless. It's not her fault, but at the same time she's getting paid to serve me as a customer, so I am trying to figure a way around the system. I have enough experience having worked at a few call centers to generally find the way around the system. These poor people have no recourse. They suggest I go back to the Depot. I suggest to this woman that she find a new job, because the one she has is simply awful she has no information, no recourse and can help.. no one.

I go back to the depot after work. I explain to the person there that one of three things is going to happen: 1) I am walking out of there with a dishwasher at no further cost, 2) I am walking out of there with a scheduled delivery for a weekend day in the next 10 days, 3) I am calling my lawyer either to sue them, or to defend me because if I come home without one of those things, I'll be getting divorced. The woman behind the counter laughs. We discuss our options a little bit (she was very nice) they decide that they will give me a model on hand for the price paid. I call the wife (this one's stainless, got to be sure that's ok). She mulls it over and decides "sure." Great! I sign 364 things and wheel my new dishwasher out to the truck. Stainless dishwashers are not light, but I get it up in the pick-up without too much trouble. I drive home. It is now 6:15, I have to pick Chico (my brother) up at the airport at 8:20. Plenty of time.

There is a slight problem: there is currently only me, this thing is heavy, and I have to get it up a flight of stairs, through two doors, down the hall, around a corner, through the door of our condo, and around another corner and into the kitchen all by myself without bashing the building, or scratching the stainless. Oh well, what the heck, this is why I exercise. I take all of the cardboard off the washer (it was falling off anyway), and I wrestle the thing all the way to the front door of the building. I sit back, and cradle the thing in my lap while I get the door unlocked, I finagle it through the second door and down the hall, and set it down in the hallway. I go in the condo, and lock the cat in the bedroom. I go to remove the existing dishwasher, fairly confident in victory.

I open the dishwasher to take out the screws that hold it in place. I look at them they're Torx. For those of you not familiar with this type of screw, instead of - or + shape it's shaped like *. I don't have a torx screwdriver set. I run out the door and head to the local hardware store (which closes at 6:30, it's now 6:27) I park in the first spot I see and run 3 blocks to get there. I get there just in time, plunk down $6 for the screwdrivers I need, then head back.

I get the screws removed and start to slide the dishwasher out.. it sticks. I try wobbling it back and forth.. no dice. I take a closer look. The previous owner put in the dishwasher then had ceramic tile installed. The floor under the dishwasher is 1/4 in lower than the floor in the rest of the kitchen. The dishwasher won't come out, there’s not enough room. I say a few swears, and get to work. I start prying and unscrewing bits and pieces of the dishwasher, it's broken already, so who cares. It takes me nearly half an hour of bending and breaking this thing to get it out, but I get it. I remove the plumbing, turn off the breaker to keep from getting electrocuted, and disconnect the power. I carry that heavy S.O.B. (somehow heavier than the new one) out to the back porch. I plumb up the new one, and connect the power. I slide it in and screw it down. I try it out.. I'll be damned, works. There's a little leak, but I fix that no problem. I am covered in water, muck and god knows what. It is now 8:10 and I live 30 minutes from the airport. I hop in the truck, as is, and pick up my little brother.

Every weekend hence the wife says "we need to get that dishwasher taken down to the dump." Every weekend I agree, then we never do it. This weekend with folks coming over, it had to happen. So while she was bringing lunch to a friend of hers who was stuck at the Seattle High School Tennis tourney this thing ends as it began, me and the dishwasher. I picked it up, went to the dump and dropped that sucker off. Hopefully.. hopefully that ends the saga of the dishwasher.