Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Jerry Falwell is dead.

That's not a joke, and I am loathe to make light of anyone's demise, but frankly I won't miss him. He was spiteful, loathsome, and filled with hate. He was everything a man of god should not be. His attacks on.. everyone, but particularly the gay/lesbian/bi community were the worst kind of outright bigotry, and frankly it makes me ill.

I remember being 12 and unsure of my own manhood. At that time gay was an insult, and the whole thing was 'icky.' Now that I am a grown man, I know what it means to be one, and no insult will alter that. I have also come to learn that most things sexual are 'icky' in some ways (particularly if done right.) I have friends, teammates, and professional contacts that run the spectrum. I once fooled around with a girl, that dated a girl that dated me. I don't understand the animosity, and I certainly don't understand trying to legislate rights away from good people.

Two of my wife, and my, good friends are gay men. They live together, and have for some time. They are simply, and singularly the happiest couple I know. They could be separated by the Federal government with two weeks notice at any time. One of the guys is not from the U.S. one is. The one who is not has a work visa. If he were to lose his job, for any reason, he would need to find a company to sponsor him within 2 weeks. If he cannot, he gets sent home. If they were a man and a woman they would probably already be married. They would both be citizens and everything would be dandy. Playing rugby I know several people who married specifically to stay in this country. It saddens me that these guys live with the possibility of separation hanging over their heads. They belong together, and a few weak people's small mindedness should not get in the way of that.
There is no threat to marriage. My marriage is not threatened by other people marrying for love, money, greencards, reproduction, or for fear of dieing alone. My personal belief is that marriage is a religious ceremony, and as such should not be recognized by the federal government at all (remember that whole wacky separation of church and state we used to have). All of us should get a recognized domestic partnership contract written up. Let the government recognize the legal agreement, let the clergy classify marriage.

1 comment:

Christine Petty said...

most things sexual are 'icky' in some ways (particularly if done right.)

AMEN TO THAT!

Seriously, I just had this discussion with my partner yesterday at dinner. She's not into marriage or fighting for it, and my response was "what happens when we're 90, and one of us dies, and the other has no right to our pensions and the gov't gets 50% of the money before the other could touch it?"

I just saw that he died on TV, I almost clapped. But then I thought... I'm not an asshole like he was. So I didn't clap.