You put the bone in Zamboni.

Movie reviews:

300. A very cool movie. Great visuals. The Spartans kicked much buttocks. In a few spots they put a little too much body make-up on the guys. So everybody looked all playboy "airbrushed to perfection." There were a few plot lines that seemed a little forced but overall a very entertaining movie with a huge cool factor and a lot of testosterone. The big visuals really have to be seen on the big screen.

Blades of glory. Painfully funny. Jon Heder plays 'straight' for Will Ferrel and the balance works. Figure skating is already on the ragged edge of farce, so taking it well beyond that edge is fairly easy, and damn funny. Bonus points because fellow Truman State alumnae Jenna Fisher plays Jon Heder's love interest.

In other notes: According to the FDA candy is good for you, because it's better than eating glass.
Ok, so that may be hyperbole, but this makes me wonder, are they openly taking bribes from lobbyists or are they just stupid?

Hope you had a good weekend!
Mahalo.

Double dippin'

I was looking at Msn.com today, which I do from time to time, and I got swept up surfing through several 'weight-loss' articles. Whomever is writing for them is stuck in the 90's. It's all low fat, high carb. Replace the oil in your muffin recipe with applesauce kekeke aren't I cute NONSENSE. It doesn't work. Unless you're an endurance athlete, don't eat like one. If you're not currently in the middle of a 20 mile run, you shouldn't be eating a muffin for breakfast EVER. There is a place and a time for indulgence, and muffins are mighty tasty ones, but that ain't breakfast.

While I'm mid rant, Unless you’re and endurance athlete, don’t train like one either. Why oh why would you ever want to do 45 minutes of cardio when you can do 20 minutes of intervals? I had one of those huge "goddamn that makes more sense than pockets" moments the other day. I was reading an article by Mr. Alwyn Cosgrove on T-nation. He was talking about body fat. It boils down to this: If I lift weights hard and heavy, this challenges my muscles and causes little tears to my muscle tissue. My body, in all its wisdom, responds with more muscle tissue. Seems like a nice logical adaptive response. What a work of art is man... you get the idea. So if I hamster along at 60% heart rate and metabolize as much body fat as I can, what do you think the adaptive response is going to be? Logically the body is going to say "Gee, we seem to be using an awful lot of that stuff, perhaps I should keep more around." This is not to say that you shouldn't exercise, but that exercising at a higher intensity (above the hideously named "fat burning zone") not only burns more calories (due to EPOC) but won't lead your body to create as much adipose tissue. If that made any more sense, I'd have to make sweet sweet love to it. Is it 100% true, I have no idea. It does seem to follow the research, and my personal experience. I've never been as fat as I was when I was running 4-6 miles a day in Chicago, of course it didn't help I was eating here and here a couple times a week. So I’m rolling with it.

And if I ever find the person who writes the articles for MSN I’m going to punch her in the uterus, yup right between the ole bull horns.
Mahalo.

Hey Slackass, where you been!

Sorry for the lack of blogness. It's been a little nutty at work, and I've been feeling like reheated dog poop, so instead of boring you with my feel-like-crappiness, I decided to keep it to myself.
But NOW, it's Friday the 13th! Which is really a secret holiday for the left handed. It's my favorite holiday, where we lefties go around playing secret tricks on your righty bitches for setting up the world in such a way that it literally kills us off about 6 years early. Ya'll think it's "bad luck."
In other news the tire dragging is coming along marvelously, but I get lots of funny looks from people who's "exercise" consists of throwing a ball for their dog for about 10 minutes. So who cares. AAAAAAAAANd since my lovely wife is on spring break this week "WOOOO SPRING BREAK!" She's going to pick me up from work and we're going to see 2 movies in a row. (300, and Blades of Glory)

Speaking of spring break.. I never went on a "typical" spring break. 3 of my 4 years in college I was so broke that I had to work as much as possible just to make rent over spring break, and the only year I didn't my rugby team went on tour through Texas and Oklahoma. We played 5 games in 7 days. We stayed with some guys who played for SMU who were smoking so much weed that you couldn't see in their apartment, and were up all night doing coke. Needless to say we kicked the crap out of them.

That's the problem with 'athletics' on American college campuses They're either unpaid professional athletes, who represent the university in name only, barely go to class and are generally a menace to their respective community, or you play a sport where you get no revenue, you have no facilities, and you have to scrape by just to find a place to stay for a road game. It's B.S. if it were up to me (and since this is my blog we're going to pretend that it is). There would be no college athletic scholarships. Student athletes would have to make grades, and would be subject to audit (ok Johnny I want to see that paper you wrote for Dr. Smith’s class. We're going to have a quiz on its subject matter) There would be a cap (and a minimum) on the amount of money that could be spent on each sport per year, and anyone caught cheating (one fudged scholarship, one kid not making grades and still playing or failing an audit, you spend $1 over the cap) would result in: 1) have a 10 year ban on NCAA competition for that ENTIRE SCHOOL and 2) Fine the equivalent of every dollar spent on that sport for 2 years (so expensive sports step out of line and the fine is much larger than if smaller sports do). Yes, the level of competition would drop, yes your favorite school would probably get flushed, but that's the price of true student-athletes. How many people's lives get ruined by coddled athletes on college campuses? Why is it the job of our institutes of higher learning to provide a minor league for the NBA, or NFL? There would be a backlash for 5 years, then things would normalize and the system would work. There would be a return to traditional collegiate and Olympic sports.

I failed, but I passed!

Well, then I'm happy but sad for you..

I'll show those bastards at the Emissions board, they can't keep a good man down. I had to kick one dude in the junk and I ended up biting another on the scull so hard I chipped a tooth, but with a little persuasion and some magic pixie dust the Ranger passes emissions! Yay! It was a bit of a wake-up call though.
Now that she's paid off, it's time to show the Ranger a little pick-up love.
All new Fluids and filters!
New Brakes!
New Windscreen, and maybe a little body work!
Candy Cane rims, and chocolate tires!
And.. I should get the deal fixed that caused me to fail the first time.
All that, and I'm coming down of a double Thai Coffee.
I gotta get to the gym before I pass out.
Mahalo!

Failure!!

I have failed.. well my truck failed. I had the emissions tested just now and it failed. I need to get it fixed. Anybody know a good repair shop?